From Dan Froomkin of the Washington Post's White House Briefing:
...I noted the other day that "modernization" is the new White House buzzword for its Social Security pitch. Get ready for Bush to uncork a new metaphor in that vein every few days.
On Monday, it was this: "Telling younger workers they have to save money in a 1930s retirement system is like telling them they have to use a cell phone with a rotary dial."
This morning, he said he it was "like trying to persuade them that vinyl LPs are better than iPods."
Shall we try some of our own? Selling privatization as a solution to general fund solvency is like trying to persuade people that leeches cure cancer... Okay, so I'm not the most creative guy on the planet. Your metaphors?
The White House Briefing also has this skit from the Daily Show on fake town hall meetings and doublespeak:
...Comedy Central has now posted Bee's sketch on its Web site.
"As he barnstorms across the country to sell his Social Security reforms, President Bush has introduced an exciting innovation: The fake town hall," Bee explains.
And indeed, Bee interviews Republican pollster Frank Luntz for guidance, and then casts her own fake town hall, which turns out to be eerily like Bush's, but for the relentless spewing of obscenities.
My favorite part, however, was Luntz serving as a White House "translator" of sorts.
"Drilling for oil," says Bee. "I would say, responsible exploration for energy," says Luntz.
"Logging," says Bee. "I would say, healthy forests," says Luntz.
"Manipulation," says Bee. "Explanation and education," says Luntz.
Another chance to add some of our own! Snake oil for the solvency problem? That's Privatization. Surely someone out there can do better than that... Your translations?